Out of touch.

 I've abandoned my blog for the summer, but now that we're all either getting back to school, or really had no vacation because we're social workers and that's what we do, I think it's time to get going.  So, I'm hopefully going to continue to post a couple of times a week.  I just got this new book:

and though I don't always feel like being belligerent about a subject is helpful, I think this topic needs to be discussed.  Basically, the author discusses the way female purity is treated in the United States with special emphasis on the whole "True Love Waits" movement.  There are so many double standards out there for women, but Valenti focuses on how making your sexuality so public and your worth as a person balancing on your level of purity is damaging to our youth.  She does go out of her way to say that the "purity" itself is not problem and were the purity ring crowd to be just as accepting of those who think differently, there would be no problem. Very interesting topic, especially for someone who grew up in a conservative youth group that supported this kind of movement.  

Now, how does this relate to burnout?  Let's see, does anyone out there work with young women who have had multiple unplanned pregnancies?  Valenti stresses the link between abstinence only education and this kind of purity movement. She argues that there is no safe space for youth to talk about their sexuality and taking ownership of your own sexuality is certainly not encouraged.  I find when I have young clients with unplanned pregnancies it is very difficult to stop thinking about them when I leave work.  Because I've seen multiple similar cases, I have seen how resilient young mothers and babies can be.  I am struggling with working my hardest to talk with these girls about what is going on and at the end of the day realizing that I did my best and not being disappointed when they choose to make poor decisions.  Anyone have any good "mantras" to help with this?

My other challenge is the way that new pregnancies are discussed at work.  Instead of a stance of non-judgment, I hear,

"Guess who's pregnant?"

"Who?"

"Guess...[insert judgmental, knowing look]"

"Ohhhh, [insert name of someone that is going to have a challenging time with another child.]."

"You guessed it!"

"*Annoyed groan* Why am I not surprised?!"

I hate this!  Yet, I do it myself...  A few questions... because I am into questions more often now than answers...

-Why must we discuss our clients like they are characters in The Real World? 

-Does it do anyone any good to be negative about these families?  

-I'm frustrated too, but I don't ever know the whole situation...  if we were in this situation would we act any differently?

-Are we doing anything to prevent this?  Are we talking openly about sexuality or are we embarrassed?  Do we just stand by and allow abstinence only education to continue to happen in our schools?  Do we research good ways to discuss sexuality with young people and then support their parents in having these discussions?  -In other words, how are we taking ownership of this social problem?  Why are we separating ourselves from the issue?

-When we see this problem over and over do we just accept it as something that will never change?  Are we depressed about it?  Do we unfairly direct our frustration toward our clients?  

Finally...  when we have gossip sessions about our clients (consumers, families, however you want to refer to the folks you work with on a daily basis), don't think that it does not show when we interact with them.  When we dwell in the negativity, we start to get irritated with our clients, start to avoid them, and start to talk about them as if they are only sub-human.  How can we support each other in changing this?  What does everyone think?

Glad to be back!